2.06.2013

Seven cats who made the mews in 2012



Obviously they are in no particular order, because how can you say one cat is better than the other when all cats are amazing?

Stray cat: Shankly walks across the pitch at Anfield
Stray cat: Shankly walks across the pitch at Anfield
1. THE ANFIELD CAT
LAST February this sweet boy achieved the impossible – he made a game of football interesting for a few minutes. He wandered on to the pitch in the middle of a match and had a little sit down, completely unperturbed by the noise of the crowd, (who started chanting “A cat, a cat, a cat”, because nothing gets past football fans). His courageous protest was brought to an abrupt end when a steward picked him up in a most undignified manner and took him away, without so much as a cuddle.Luckily justice prevailed in the end – the cat became a worldwide internet sensation while the mean old steward was never heard of again. (Well not by me, anyway.)

2. LARRY AND FREYA

The Downing Street cat fight hit the headlines back in October, reportedly with Freya (No. 11) getting the better of Larry (No. 10). They were probably arguing over which of them was most ashamed of their owner, “It’s me”, “No, it’s me”, “NO IT’S DEFINITELY ME” etc etc etc.

3. HANK THE CAT
Five facts about Hank.
1. He ran for a US Senate seat in Virginia this year.
2. He came third.
3. He owns more than one tie.
4. Hank has not ruled out a return to politics.
5. I love Hank.

4. ORVILLE, IT’S NOT WRIGHT
Orville the cat’s life was tragically cut short when he was run over.
His owner Bart Jensen decided that the perfect way to “honour” him was to have him stuffed and turned into a remote control model plane. Funnily enough Bart has received the odd bit of hate mail since he revealed his dead cat-copter to the world in June. His defence is something about how Orville loved birds, and can now fly among them... which obviously makes the whole thing perfectly fine.


5. “CHARLIE CHAPLIN” Every festive season a ­loveable stray looking for a home hits the headlines, so meet Charlie, who has been living in an animal shelter since July.
The staff there reckon she looks like Charlie Chaplin.
I suppose she has a better chance of being adopted if we all just pretend this is true, and accept the hat, rather than saying who she really looks like.
*cough* Kitler *cough*.

6. THE ESSEX LION
The entire orange population of the country was on high alert in August after reports of sightings of literally A LION in Clacton-on-Sea. It was not reem, everyone was well scared but it was well funny ’cos it turned out it was just a cat innit. A cat called Teddy Bear. No you shut up.

7. A STREET CAT NAMED BOB
The tail (!) of how this incredible moggy inspired James Bowen to turn his life around is now a best-selling novel and future Hollywood movie. It’s a lovely story of triumph over adversity, of love, and hope… and best of all there’s a photo of Bob on the cover happily wearing a really cosy little scarf.

Enough already of the week

“What I would like for Christmas this year is a new kitchen for me nan.” Christopher Maloney

Ho ho ho.. oh no!

“It’s a good job I’ve got Father Christmas’s direct number to grass my kids up or they’d never go to sleep.” Simon Gregson

Thrilling celebrity anecdote of the week

“That awkward moment when you realize you JUST took off last Chrismas’ holiday weight and it is indeed now Christmas AGAIN can I get an amen?” Lady Gaga

Mayan-be not

If you’re reading this, it looks like the Mayans were wrong.
I hope they’re not too embarrassed about their mistake though, after all it’s hardly the end of the world.

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